Desire to Crash

Why do we have this desire to fall? This desire to crash. Is it just me? I hope not, but I can only guess that it is this wretched sin intwined in our makeup. Thank you Jesus for rescuing me my due consequence, but Lord, please help me to shirk this self-defeating desire far from me. God, I can't, I am incapable of it in my strength. Holy Spirit, please come, fill me, and strengthen me. Lord, please come and fill all parts of me, destroy all parts of me that aren't of You. God please, breathe on me, make me holy. Take away all of these distractions. God please, help me to see You and only You. Teach me to move where You're moving, to do what You're doing. God help me, sanctify me, change me. Overwhelm me... in You. God please.

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Evening in the Familiar

Do you know that scripture about a dog returning to its own vomit? Well, I wonder if that's an observation about humanity's behavior, and it is most visible via sin? I mean, the thing you hate the most and absolutely abhore, where does it dwell? Certainly not miles away hoping you might someday come back its direction. No, it dwells right behind you. It's out of your sight and you think you're away from it, but all you have to do is turn around and it's right there to welcome you into its grasping comfortable arms. Do you know what I mean? It's been my experience, albeit very limited, that most recovered alcoholics didn't recover overnight, and when times were rough, I bet the thought of drinking their problems away weren't far from their minds. Or the suicidal person, "healed", has he been thinking about rolling green hills with bright blue skies, and feeling overly loved by all and genuinely "worth it"? Probably not. My point is, though it is our nature to return to the things behind us, maybe God, knowing that, decided to make our journey so much more victorious by leading us through our valleys in the shadows of our sin, not fearing it, but following Him. I mean, if we were delivered and set upon perfectly still waters, would we refer to that time as "something I faced once, but - really don't remember too much of how I felt"? But if we waded through that murky dirty water on that gentle slope back onto land, feeling, choosing God over the dark water below, would He not lead us beside still waters? Would He not cleanse us gradually as we came more and more out of the water... forgiven but being sanctified?

- God, cleanse me and sanctify me. Forgive me for all I've done, and for my nature. Thank you Lord for giving us a way apart from the vomit we so often return to. Thank you for Christ. Father, we choose You. In Your name, amen.
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A Relaxing Day

Well today, still in a state of unemployment, I woke up at 8. It's been a beautiful past couple of days. I think the seasons are finally starting to change. On a side note, I have experienced the greatest tasting chocolate yet. Incredible. I'm sitting under a pavillion at Stockton Lake, looking out at the beautiful fall-is-coming water. There is a flock of geese taking a short break here on their journey south, another bite of chocolate... unbelievable, before taking flight again. I would tend to think that if I was to take a break from a several thousand mile flight, I would enjoy that break by resting, yet there they are, hopping around heckling one another. Might as well have kept flying, they could be over Arkansas by now. There's also some ominous-looking bug on me, and I've never seen one like it before... oh well. It's funny how when several geese are cooing, or barking, whatever it is, it sounds like there are voices in there, like when you barely hear someone talking in the distance but you can't make out what they're saying. One of them has a problem I think, he sounds a lot like an elephant.

Anyway, all of that to say that it is beautiful relaxing day here in the Ozarks.
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