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Evening in the Familiar

Do you know that scripture about a dog returning to its own vomit? Well, I wonder if that's an observation about humanity's behavior, and it is most visible via sin? I mean, the thing you hate the most and absolutely abhore, where does it dwell? Certainly not miles away hoping you might someday come back its direction. No, it dwells right behind you. It's out of your sight and you think you're away from it, but all you have to do is turn around and it's right there to welcome you into its grasping comfortable arms. Do you know what I mean? It's been my experience, albeit very limited, that most recovered alcoholics didn't recover overnight, and when times were rough, I bet the thought of drinking their problems away weren't far from their minds. Or the suicidal person, "healed", has he been thinking about rolling green hills with bright blue skies, and feeling overly loved by all and genuinely "worth it"? Probably not. My point is, though it is our nature to return to the things behind us, maybe God, knowing that, decided to make our journey so much more victorious by leading us through our valleys in the shadows of our sin, not fearing it, but following Him. I mean, if we were delivered and set upon perfectly still waters, would we refer to that time as "something I faced once, but - really don't remember too much of how I felt"? But if we waded through that murky dirty water on that gentle slope back onto land, feeling, choosing God over the dark water below, would He not lead us beside still waters? Would He not cleanse us gradually as we came more and more out of the water... forgiven but being sanctified?

- God, cleanse me and sanctify me. Forgive me for all I've done, and for my nature. Thank you Lord for giving us a way apart from the vomit we so often return to. Thank you for Christ. Father, we choose You. In Your name, amen.
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A Relaxing Day

Well today, still in a state of unemployment, I woke up at 8. It's been a beautiful past couple of days. I think the seasons are finally starting to change. On a side note, I have experienced the greatest tasting chocolate yet. Incredible. I'm sitting under a pavillion at Stockton Lake, looking out at the beautiful fall-is-coming water. There is a flock of geese taking a short break here on their journey south, another bite of chocolate... unbelievable, before taking flight again. I would tend to think that if I was to take a break from a several thousand mile flight, I would enjoy that break by resting, yet there they are, hopping around heckling one another. Might as well have kept flying, they could be over Arkansas by now. There's also some ominous-looking bug on me, and I've never seen one like it before... oh well. It's funny how when several geese are cooing, or barking, whatever it is, it sounds like there are voices in there, like when you barely hear someone talking in the distance but you can't make out what they're saying. One of them has a problem I think, he sounds a lot like an elephant.

Anyway, all of that to say that it is beautiful relaxing day here in the Ozarks.
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I'm sitting here at the lake in stockton.

In the Office

This is Jack, the dog of my boss, well, was my boss.  I'm in the office today trying to finish up a project for The Freedom Center in Michigan.  It's a beautiful day today.  The temperature is about 65, with a nice breeze.  I have the doors open in the office and it's great.  However, I do need to get back to work.

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Well i'm testing the texting features of blogger.

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Just test uploading an image to Blogger.  This is in a park beneath the Mackinaw Bridge in Michigan.

Just a Test

This is a test from my new phone

It's Been Awhile

Well, it's been awhile since I last wrote in this... hmmm, lack of discipline, or desire?  Anyway, I guess initially I started this so that in those times when I didn't have a journal with me but felt the need to write something, I could send an email to this address from my phone, and it would post.  Since my last post, I have gone to Michigan with my wife Chelsea for a week, enjoying the parts farther from cities.  When we returned home, I went to pick up my check from working in Indianapolis, and was informed that my services would only be needed on more of an "on call" basis.  I haven't yet received a call in three weeks.  Interesting.  So, all that being said, I won't have my business phone that sends and receives those fancy email things anymore, rendering my purpose for this blog seemingly moot.  But, perhaps my purpose for this site will adapt, transform, metamorphisize rather than surrender.  Perhaps I'll use it to further enhance and grow my writing ability.  I'm feeling less creative and inspired by the day.  More robotic, I think, is how I feel... like a machine built to perform a task.  I guess that's a feeling that's been growing for some time.  I think the first time I realized its inception was when we were brainstorming at work, my colleagues and I, trying to conceive a plan for rebranding a ministry.  I couldn't, despite my most sincere inward attempt, come up with a good idea, not even a spark on a fuse.  Those around me were coming up with options right and left.  I was able to build on their ideas, fairly well, and implement, in my mind, the execution and fruition of those ideas.  But as for coming up with an idea, a simple creative thought, I found myself inept.  Maybe this is my gifting from the Lord, an analytical mind, made for building on plans, for the execution of orders and the expansion of them.  I just don't know.  I do feel confident in my ability to do the latter.  I do suppose we, mankind, always want what we don't have.  But, can we not grow in the areas that we're not gifted in?  Why not?  I don't see a reason that should stand in the way.  But how do you grow creativity?  I think the seed of it is within me.  It has to be.  My God is a creative god, the Creator.  If I, as creation, am in Him and redeemed by Christ, then He is in me.  God, Creator, creativity... in me.  But where do I start?  In Proverbs 13:20, we are advised to be in the company of the wise, for their wisdom will surely rub off on us, and advised to stand clear of fools for their all-encompassing folly will likely suffer us harm.  Is creativity then something that can "rub off" on us?  Am I more creative when I'm around certain people?  Or is it more like a seed that requires the right nutrients and conditions to grow, the right environment for it to take root and thrive?  Am I more creative in certain settings, in certain environments?  Perhaps it's all of these things.  Maybe the right setting, the right environment, the right people, the right heart, is the answer.  

Father, grow me.  Guide me.  Teach me.  Help me to be more creative.  Lead me down paths of righteousness.  Help my heart to be drawn to You, to be open to You.  Help me to hear You speak.  Help me to see You move.  Help me to feel You breathe.  God, enhance my heart, to be the right heart, motivated by love and devotion to You, to those around me, and not to the vain conceit and pride in my very nature.  Father I love you and I thank you for all that You are, though I don't even know the beginning of You.  Thank You for what You have revealed to me.